Walking Through the Journey of Grief

We use the phrase “good grief” often and tonight I wonder if such a concept exists. Perhaps the goodness of grief is the relationship that we develop with it. Are we genuine in our journey? Do we express what we truly feel and think when it is safe to do so?

I find many people speaking of the 5 stages of grief as though they are the 5 “rules” of grief. The well-intentioned speak of each stage as a definitively timed chapter in a linear world.

In my experience, the stages are just that, “stages” to be experienced as they arise. No one journey is a twin of another. They share similarities but not identical DNA.

Some death experiences happen more quickly than expected, some are tragic and leave behind a thick residue of trauma. Both are my experiences in recent months.

My father passed in the middle of October. We finally got approval for long term care placement as he had been dealing with dementia. My sister and I had time to visit with him in the hospital and in the care facility. A challenging significant other scenario allowed for limited visits previously. But, finally, we had victory! Placement with wonderful care and “unsupervised” visits. Memories that we made, that he would forget quickly but we will treasure always.